Some people cringe at the thought of turning 30. For some reason they don't want to leave their 20's behind. In February I was one of those people. I was dreading getting older and leaving fun behind.
When I think back my 20's were pretty tough. Especially my early 20's...my Dad died when I was 16: carbon monoxide poisoning at work. He was 38. Only 8 more years than I will be this week. That is a sobering thought: My dad had less than a decade of life left when he turned 30.
Dealing with the grief sent me to some pretty dark places. After high school I had a hard time making friends, I was unfocused at university and was often pretty introverted, at other times I would act out and make bad decisions. Looking back I'm pretty sure I was battling depression in my early 20's. I was really lost.
I'd like to think having my Dad die suddenly really put life in perspective for me. Maybe at times in those early years it did, but certainly not all the time. It was always an undercurrent in my life that's for sure...
What am I trying to say here? The point I'm trying to make is that having my Dad die at such a tender age reminds me now that life is precious. Every day is a gift. These days my motto seems to be: "If that's the worst thing that happened today we're having a good day". I've already had the worst day of my life. The small shit just doesn't matter that much. You never know when your last day here will be. I live every day trying to make good, healthy decisions for myself and I try to do things that would make my Dad proud.
Worrying about turning 30, I decided, is one of those things filed under "Small Shit that Doesn't Matter" because in reality I am happier, more confident, feel more beautiful, more secure and stable than I have ever been in my entire 30 years. How could that be bad? I have a wonderful partner who loves me, a beautiful home and a great, budding career. Who wouldn't want these things?
And besides, I plan on living until I'm at least 90. So 30 only puts me at a third of that age. I'm still young! And I actually still feel like I'm 24 or 25. lol!
So here's to 30!
I've got a whole week of Birthday posts planned to share with you. Here's what's coming up this week:
* Lisa's Life List - a list of life goals, big, small, things I want to accomplish
* 30 Things I've Learned in 30 Years OR "Dear 20 year old Lisa: Here's Some Advice from a Wiser, Older You"
* A Special Birthday Edition of my Wishlist series
* Flashback Friday: a look back
* A Special Outfit post of my Birthday outfit
Lisa.xo
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